So many couples share the same worry: that their symbolic ceremony might come across as a bit of a joke — that in the eyes of their guests, it could feel like a performance with no real weight behind it.
I won’t pretend that fear is unfounded.
If you leave it entirely to chance, or simply trust whoever you’ve picked to officiate even though they’re not a professional celebrant, you’re taking a real risk. Why hand something this important to someone who’s never done it before? It’s a big responsibility for them, and a big risk for you. Writing a wedding ceremony text that feels credible and genuinely solemn takes experience — and real awareness of what you’re taking on.
I’ve seen far too many celebrants take the role too lightly and end up making the ceremony awkward for the couple and their guests; I’ve seen friends who missed the solemnity of the moment entirely and slipped into jokes that landed badly and felt out of place.
Right up front, here are the two things to pay closest attention to if you’re planning a symbolic ceremony: writing the text, and choosing your celebrant.
What I think about symbolic ceremonies
If you have no experience with it, the symbolic ceremony is definitely the most complex part of the day for a couple to put together.
If you marry in a church, or in a civil ceremony with a registrar, you simply show up and follow a rite or text someone else has already written for you.
And yet, despite what some see as an initial hurdle, the symbolic ceremony is actually the most intimate, emotional, and personal option if you want a civil-style ceremony that’s truly yours. You can hold it anywhere. You can have anyone officiate (more on that shortly). You can write a text that genuinely reflects you as a couple. A registry-office ceremony, by comparison, tends to happen in a cold room, with an official you’ve never met, who knows nothing about you and might even mispronounce your names. You sign, you listen to a reading of the legal code, and it’s done. A little impersonal, don’t you think?
Writing the text
As I mentioned, it’s not straightforward to write the text of a symbolic ceremony without risking it turning into a bit of a farce.
Every guest needs certain anchor points inside a ceremony for it to feel credible in their eyes. Would you know how to find them? What do you think actually needs to be in there for a ceremony to feel genuine?
Choosing your celebrant
The wonderful thing about a symbolic ceremony is that literally anyone can officiate — someone close to you, who knows you, who’s played an important role in your journey as a couple.
The (potentially) tricky thing about a symbolic ceremony is that literally anyone can officiate.
As I said at the start, I’ve heard far too many stories — and unfortunately witnessed a few myself — of ceremonies turned into a bit of a joke by celebrants who didn’t take the role seriously. If it were your wedding, if you were moved and about to promise a lifetime to your partner, if you were nervous reading your vows and exchanging rings, would you want a celebrant who, to everyone’s embarrassment, stumbles over the text, snickers, or even gets the rituals wrong?
I don’t think you would.
That’s why it’s so important to carefully choose the person you entrust with something this significant, intimate, and delicate. And, just as importantly: rehearsals are essential!
It might sound trivial, but not everyone is used to public speaking, especially while holding the booklet in one hand and a microphone in the other and trying not to lose the thread. In the run-up to the wedding, we always rehearse the ceremony with our couples, so they arrive on the day fully prepared, already knowing exactly what they need to do: the entrance, reading the vows, the symbolic rituals.
The right solution for you
Did you know we’ve designed a dedicated process specifically to help couples who want an intimate symbolic ceremony that genuinely matches who they are? Above all, it’s built to remove any risk of ending up with a text that’s generic, incomplete, or hard for your guests to connect with.
Your symbolic ceremony won’t be a joke — get in touch to find out everything about this service.
